Bankrupt!

It’s genius. Why didn’t I do it a long time ago? Yep, I’ll file for bankruptcy.

Only suckers pay their bills. Just look at Donald Trump. He gets convicted of business fraud and fined a half billion bucks. The guy says he has billions and billions in assets, and who are we to question his veracity? Some people, though, are saying he really has just a mere 2.5 billion. If he paid up he’d still have 2 billion, but who can make ends meet with that kind of chump change? Not to worry. If he runs out of options he can declare bankruptcy and never pay a dime.

Should the state liquidate his assets to get their money? Sell off some of those properties he claims are worth so much?

Nah! That would be so unfair.

Should they throw him in the hoosegow unless he pays up?

Nah! They only do that to poor slobs who can’t afford lawyers.

Well, I can afford one. And the way I figure, if a guy with two billion qualifies for bankruptcy , how can any judge deny granting it to pauper such as I?

Once I’m bankrupt, I’ll pick up my groceries at the supermarket. When the bill comes due I’ll say, “Too bad sucker, I’m bankrupt. Put your name on the creditors list.” And out the door I and my cart will go.

If I get a parking ticket I’ll just tell the court I can’t to pay. I’m bankrupt. And that will be the end of that.

When the utility bills come due, the credit card payment has to be made, I get billed for my home owners association fee or I go to pick up my Chinese takeout order will I need to pay? Are you kidding? Will the fact that, compared to the majority of Americans at least, I am quite well heeled make any difference? Of course not. You see, I’m bankrupt.

The richer you are, the more you are entitled to go bankrupt. The law understands this. That’s how the rich stay rich, after all.

How hard can it be to go bankrupt? Ask Donald. He’s a pro. And here’s the kicker. Going bankrupt over and over had no effect on securing future loans. He could mismanage that cash as well and go bankrupt again and again. Did anybody figure out maybe he was a bad security risk? Apparently not. The creditors are wiped out. The slate is wiped clean Makes perfect sense to me.

I’ll get a lawyer (whose bill will never get paid) and send him to court. A very agreeable judge will surely decide that even though I have plenty of dough, of course I need to declare bankruptcy. Otherwise I’d actually have to pay my bills. The most unfair bills in the history of the world I might add. The fact that people expect me to pay them is a disgrace!

So if I owe any of you out there for anything, get in line and maybe you’ll get pennies on the dollar. Don’t complain. Smart people take advantage of the law. Everyone else gets taken.

Hey! Is this a great country or what?