No, Ma’am. Not when Sheriff Trump’s is wearin’ the badge. He’s your protector. Womenfolk like you need to be protected so’s you can be happy, healthy, confident and free doin’ the women’s work you was meant for, safe from bein’ raped or murdered by them low down immigrants. Free from all kinds of bothers, like having to strain your sweet little brains to make decisions the Lord intended menfolk to make, healthy because the Sheriff’s contemplating a plan that will give you the best health care in history. He’s been contemplating for a long, long time, so he surely will come up with health care like you’ve never seen. At some point.
We know this is all true because he wrote it in all capital letters on a the most truthful internet site. Why, the site even has the word “truth” in it. He’s gonna run them dad blamed crazed criminal immigrant varmints out of town once and for all and nary a one will ever cross the border to poison our blood again. Then you don’t have to think twice about them. Why, you don’t even have to think once. You can go across the street to buy groceries without fear, and know your dogs and cats are safe, too. And he’ll eliminate inflation just by snappin’ his fingers so’s you leave the supermarket with more cash in your wallet than you walked in with.
You won’t have to think about wars neither, ’cause, on day one, the sheriff will ride into town and end all the wars just like that! How’s he gonna pull that off you’re askin’? See? There you go– thinkin’ again. Gotta stop that nasty habit.
Nope. You won’t have to be troubled by thinkin’ at all. Especially about abortion. You see, it’s up to the states where everybody says it should be. So if the old White guys runin’ your state say you can’t get an abortion, that settles that. It’ll take a load off your mind and you can just forget the whole thing. You’ll be sayin’, “Abortion? Who cares about that no account issue?”
Nope. You won’t be saddled by no responsibilities except cleanin’, cookin’, doin’ the wash and changin’ diapers on all the youngins we’re gonna let you bring into the world. Just keep yourself lookin’ good for your man so’s he’ll make sure you keep pushin’ out them babies. And your man will protect you by goin’ to work all day and to the bar all night. Get himself all liquored up then come home to grab you by the you-know-what and knock you up, unless he already had a little piece on the side, which every hard workin’ protector deserves now and then. Mr. Trump’s an expert on that subject, yesireebob he is.
That’s the way the good Lord intended it to be. Sheriff Trump knows it’s so because he’s such a devout Christian. He sells the very best Bibles, Bibles like you never seen before, and every Sunday mornin’ you can see him prayin’ to the Almighty every time he takes a golf swing.
Of course, since we’ll have the best sheriff in history, you’ll never be bothered to vote neither. Ain’t that a relief? Just vote for him this one time and you’ll never have to vote again.
Tell me now, don’t this just beat all? Don’t it make you the happiest little ladies this side of the Rio Grande? Darn tootin’ it does!
An Author's Inner Mind 